I started dating Ron when I was 23, I am now 28. We started talking about marriage two years ago, but he doesn't think he's ready.

January 30, 2007

Dear Ellen:

I started dating Ron when I was 23, I am now 28. We started talking about marriage two years ago, but he doesn't think he's ready. So we decided to move in together and let him get "ready". We've recently talked about marriage and he's still not ready. He thinks we're young and have a lot of time and don't need to rush into anything. I know women mature earlier than men and that guys need time to grow up. I don't want to rush him and I want to be understanding of his needs. What do you think?

Answer: He's right! Why rush into a commitment to marriage after only five years? Why don't you wait another five or even another ten years? Let him get to really know you. I hate to be the one to break the news but…he's just not sure you're the one. "I'm not ready" is the most often used excuse by men---and yet---it continually seems to work on us women. Women love waiting around for men to be ready. Ask yourself if you feel truly loved, or are you spending a whole lot of time and energy trying to make yourself into something you think will make him happier. Don't let him make you feel stupid about wanting to be loved---or married. There are guys who get married every day. There's nothing wrong about wanting to be married---you're just with the wrong guy if that's what you want now.