Rebuilding Confidence

BROWNSVILLE - When Jerry Cortinas lost his hand, he lost a part of his identity.

While stationed in Afghanistan in December 2002, Cortinas, then a member of the U.S. Army's Special Forces, was preparing to go out on a mission. While showing another soldier how to use a grenade launcher, the device exploded, shattering most of his hand and wrist and embedding shrapnel in his face and arms.

His left hand and wrist were amputated, and he now has scars where the explosion tore at his skin. He also suffered a traumatic brain injury and takes medication to ward off seizures.

Since the accident, Cortinas, who was in the military for nine years, has struggled to regain his self-esteem and sense of purpose in the world.

"It's taken time to adjust," said Cortinas, 32, who lives in Brownsville. "It's basically a matter of me being comfortable with myself and the way I look now."

Cortinas and more than 400 other veterans with disabilities and injuries are participating in a weeklong program starting Sunday that's designed to help them regain their self-sufficiency and confidence.

The National Veterans Winter Sports Clinic, held annually in Snowmass Village, Colo., gives veterans with amputations and other disabilities the chance to learn to ski, snowboard and fly fish using adaptive techniques. The clinic is co-sponsored by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs and Disabled American Veterans.

"The program is really to show disabled veterans ... that they can accomplish things they couldn't before," said Dan Clare, spokesman for Disabled American Veterans. "(An injury) takes away a lot of your confidence, but if you're able to do something like skiing ... you learn that maybe there are other possibilities, and other goals you can accomplish."

Instructors from around the country will be at the clinic to teach veterans adaptive skiing, which might entail using prosthetic limbs, "sit skiing" or other accommodations depending on the veterans' injuries, Clare said. Other activities will include snowboarding, snowshoeing, Scuba diving, rock climbing, hockey and fencing.

The number of participants in the clinic is growing every year, said Jenny Tankersley Ballou, spokeswoman for the Department of Veterans Affairs. Organizers try not to turn anyone away because of space constraints, she said.

The clinic is open to veterans with brain and spinal-cord injuries, amputations, vision and neurological problems and other disabilities. The VA screens applicants to make sure it's safe for them to participate, Clare said. Ideally, the activities will accelerate the veterans' rehabilitation from injuries, officials said.

Veterans' costs are mostly covered by sponsorships and scholarships, and all of the equipment is provided.

A significant portion of this year's participants are veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan, Ballou said. Of the clinic's 463 participants, 75 are Iraq and Afghanistan vets.

Cortinas, who is attending the clinic with wife Celina, said he thinks of it as a reunion of sorts. While recovering from his injuries, Cortinas bonded with other amputees and disabled veterans he met in the hospital, feeling that they understood his struggles in a way few others could. Now, he said, he wants to offer that understanding to veterans who are newly adjusting to disabilities.

"I can tell them I understand what they're going through and give them truthful advice," he said.

After going through periods of depression and despair since the accident, Cortinas said he's improving.

"I've learned I can still do the things I used to do, although I'm restricted in some areas and it takes a little longer," he said. "If I don't push myself, I'll just get lazy."

Going to this clinic is part of that need to stay motivated, he said.

"My intention is to learn something new," he said.